Why
by Queen Of The Potatoes
Summary: A scene from'"Ironside", re-written from Luis' point of view.


_Why?_

_Why now? Why him? And here?_

_Oh god…_

"Neil."

This was so extremely, totally, entirely unfair.

Why did these things happen to him?

Why? Why? Thrice why?

"Neil, snap out of it." It was increasingly difficult to keep his voice level.

He wasn't supposed to feel like this.

Especially not for a guy.

Especially not for a guy with cursed hands.

Especially not for a guy with cursed hands and affiliations to the Night Court.

Especially not for a guy with cursed hands and affiliations to the Night Court who was currently being molested by a knot of Seelie fey.

Not that Neil seemed to mind. In fact, he seemed increasingly blissful under their ministrations.

The haze of enchantment and lust in Neil's eyes was growing by the second, as did the colour in his cheeks, the swiftness of his breath. His slender body was arching into the foreign touches, shuddering.

If only he could touch him like that…

Something beneath was fighting back, though. His teeth sank into one of the fey's soft throat. His fingers splayed across their faces, leaving a trail and bloom of decay as he did.

Luis finally pulled himself from daydreams at the sight, arousal budding in his abdomen.

_No. Have to stop this. Have to get him away…_

"Neil!

He tried to pull him up. Neil followed his touch, exhaustion yanking him back down almost immediately.

"Snap out of it. Stand up."

Luis' breath was shallow. Cursed fingers had almost scored his flesh, fear clenching his heart. Along with the fear was desire. A desire to have those slender fingers tracing across his skin.

Neil was flushed and panting as he dragged himself to his knees.

_Oh god…_

Why did the boy have to be so fucking attractive? He made him just…want…to…

_Actually…_ _that wasn't such a bad idea._

Neil would do anything as long it meant a touch. He could lead him away from here, away from them.

Of course, he was just going to do this to help him, he reasoned to himself. It had nothing to do with the tight tingle he felt in his stomach at the thought.

Of course.

_Bullshit_, the rest of him responded.

As he watched, gathering the courage to act on his thoughts, a fey snaked a hand out, tracing the curve of Neil's calf. The enchanted boy shivered violently, swaying back into its touch.

That was it.

Luis lowered himself to his knees, leaning in close. "Get up, Neil. Time to get up." he murmured, breath tangling with his. Then, before he lost his nerve, he kissed him.

_it was _it was _it was _

_so_

He pressed urgently against him, mouth moving against his, tilting his jaw open, slipping in his tongue to slide against Neil's (not nearly long enough, in his opinion). Only by the slightest of margins could he stop himself from moaning in pleasure. Neil tasted so good his jaw ached. He could feel the muscles under Neil's skin tensing as he began to move his arm up.

_Bad_, his tangled brain registered. The fey had stripped him of his fetish shop rubber gloves. As good- wonderful, breathtaking, stunning-as this was, _and oh it was_, he didn't want to die because of it.

Pulling away, he ordered him to hold his hands together as he bound them. He asked him to thread his fingers together.

Neil pulled away. Not just from the kiss, but all the way away.

Luis realized what a mistake he'd made.

He had been under an enchantment. In normal circumstances, there was no way in hell that this would have happened if he'd been clear-headed. Neil was probably as straight as a…very straight thing. That he'd used him while intoxicated by the faeries' spell made him no better than them.

He moved forward, to help, to reassure, to…something…!

"I'm sorry." Luis stuttered. "I'm-"

_sorry? you've already said that_

"I didn't-"

_yes. you wanted to and you know it_

"I thought-"

_that he'd want you back? how stupid can you get?_

"I'm? I didn't? I thought?" Neil threw the words back at him, and each one spread the pain in his chest further.

Dropping to his knees, Neil bent double, heaving up the contents of his stomach.

Luis brushed dark hair away from his paling face while chunks of mushroom splattered over the forest floor.

_I'm sorry, Neil. I'm so, so sorry._


End file.
